The Most Marketable Movie of Our Time

Remember when that movie, Righteous Kill, only had one thing going for it. The fact that Ne Niro and Pacino were buddies in it and actually had scenes together.

Well I still didn't see the movie, most people didn't see the movie, but the idea of them hanging out seems pretty cool on the surface.

That is until I heard about The Expendables.

Check out the cast list:

• Sylvester Stallone (this is his baby after all)
• Jason Statham (has never been anything less than badass, whether his movies are good or not)
• Mickey Rourke (A walking pillar of comeback badassness, best part of Sin City and of course, The Wrestler)
• Arnold Schwarzenegger (Yes its weird that he's a governor, but he's still the most badass terminator of all time)
• Jet Li (Didn't quit movies after all, just a specific Kung Fu genre... so he is back to basically lay down some badass ninja-type beats)
• Dolph Lundgren (maybe him and Stallone will have a badass boxing re-match?)
• Danny Trejo (which is actually Danny Motherfuckin' Badasssss Trejo in our language)
• And of course, Charisma Carpenter (oh yeah, that chick from Buffy who wasn't Buffy)

To top all that off, there is a rumour that Bruce Willis will be taking the place of 50 Cent in the cast. Jesus.

So what are all these crazy characters up to? They are going to stop a dictator in some country that isn't America.

Now, it may be premature to be calling this the single greatest film to ever be created by humans, but I have a feeling that this is going to be the single greatest film to ever be created by humans.

I would not want to be a dictator right about now.

Nu-Advertising

Celebrity Apprentice is over and done with. But there are still various bad tastes left in my mouth.

One of them is the taste of "viral video". The company All wanted the teams to make viral videos to get the news out about their detergent blah blah blah. The video with Jesse James at least had a bit of the spirit of what could become a viral video (people love midgits partying with Jesse James) but of course it comes across as forced (although not as completely loopy as the other video which was just some cowboy's idea of a dirty joke).

I can't even find any real versions of the videos on YouTube to post for people that want to see them. I apologize.

But what made me the angriest was that companies try to apply the old maketing strategies to the YouTube and internet frontiers. If that worked, people would just be watching commercials on YouTube. Guess what, that already happens, but more often than not, its a fluke, or just because something was particularly hilarious or embaressing about the ad. Not because the marketing was spot on and because the demographic was pandered to... and especially not because the product was properly branded.

I was skeptical that people could intentionally make internet friendly ads. Ads that were conciously in the spirit of weird online videos, and still promote a product or company... but I might be wrong.

Here are a couple of videos that were put together as online viral video advertising.






Neither of those could be put on any television channel before 3am and after 6am. Both are brilliant. They take their subject, point out something ridiculous about them and play it out to amazing levels of irony. YouTube fucking loves irony.

While I'm not sure that the clients for these advertisers understand exactly what they are being put through, I think its great to see people taking chances into something entertaining, than shoving another billboard / tv commercial / magazine ad / banner ad (web and phone) / product placement into my face. Less irritation is more better.

Why Fallout 3 DLC Doesn't Work (at least for me)

Like many Fallout 3 fans, I am excited today because the new DLC (DownLoadable Content in case my blog has readers that aren't avid gaming nerds... or readers at all) expansion Broken Steel is released. Its the DLC we've all been waiting for because it raises the level cap, adds new perks, expands the game after the final mission and removing the hard ending so you can continue to quest after it.

All of those things are great, but after finally putting in the time just yesturday to finish The Pitt, I realize that the spirit of the Fallout 3 DLC is just kinda... wrong.

Some background:

Operation Anchorage
Keep in mind that everything that I'm going to say about Operation Anchorage is heresy. I haven't downloaded it because it was very poorly reviewed and everyone said that it changed Fallout 3 (at least for the mission) into a much more standard and bland, first person shooter.

The Pitt
The consensus seemed to be "It sure beats Operation Anchorage" but everyone also seemed to agree that there was something missing. I myself had started the Pitt weeks ago but lost interest and didn't finish it until yesturday. It took me a while to figure out why... and it lead me to realize why the new expansion, Broken Steel, will feel like a disappointment to me as well.

Here are the reasons:

1. I'm kinda bored of Fallout 3. I've adventured through the wasteland. Its eaten up a great deal of my time. I've met the different companions, I've lived various different roles from grenadier to scientist to assassin to scoundrel. I know what all the perks do. I've discovered all the quests and seen all the places with at least one character. Maybe Fallout 3 can't just hold my attention like it used to for the new DLC.
   
2. The fun of exploring. The Capital Wasteland is a huge place and it is brimming with character. When you start out you either try to follow the main quest, or head in any number of other directions. As you wander aimlessly you are bound to run into something shocking/surprising/magnificent/valuable. Even when no quests are attached, you are drawn to explore small towns (that may be full of cannibals), vaults (that may be filled with crazy clones), caves (that may be filled with children that like to swear) etc. The point is that quite often, you just don't know what you are going to run into. With the DLC, you download it if you think its going to be fun, but you have to know something about it. You know that Operation Anchorage is about a computer simulation (meanwhile, running into a computer simulation in the original Fallout 3 is one of the most memorable and surprising parts of the game). You also know that The Pitt is about slaves and slavers (an issue you've already dealt with at Paradise Falls where it was still shocking to run into an entire town of slavers). I don't know about Operation Anchorage, but I think I can count only one sort of suprise in The Pitt.
   
3. Linearity. Fallout 3 is a non linear game. The second you are out of the vault you can go anywhere in the world. In fact, if you happen to stumble upon certain locations involved in the main quest, you can skip huge chunks of it. But both DLC packs are linear beyond belief, going from one quest point to the next without any sense of wandering off to discover surprising new places. The Pitt sort of tries with the Steelyard, but its ultimately just a scavengerhunt. But it is of course by its very nature as a questline that it has to do that, but its why DLC for Fallout 3 just doesn't work. I feel like I have to do The Pitt because it is bought and paid for. Any of the other questlines in Fallout 3 I can choose to skip or indulge in. And I can leave it part way through if I get distracted by something shiny (not true of The Pitt or Operation Anchorage).
   
4. Changes motivations. In Fallout 3 you can choose what motivates you. Whether you are just looking to get rich and murdering a few merchants is how you are going to get there, or whether you are a do gooder trying to make the Wasteland a better place, you can skip any quests you don't think fits with your character. But after you pay extra money for a questline its no longer about how it fits your character, it becomes "I have to beat this questline now because I paid for it and it gives me these rewards." The rewards are nice in the case of all the DLC, but it ends up feeling like that was the reason I bought it. I pay Windows Live so that I can do some tasks and get some sweet weapons for me to use in the "real" game.
   

So there you have it. Ultimately the DLC takes away the magic of the original Fallout 3 as a whole, and it makes me sad. Maybe the PS3 owners who got screwed over with no DLC, have the best version of all.

What am I saying? Level cap to 30 baby!